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Its recently been brought to our attention that the term popcorn hoe exists, and we feel morally obliged to intervene before this thing spirals. What is a popcorn hoe, you ask? According to the widely-respected source Urban Dictionary, its basically all of us, and it’s not because you replace meals with popcorn when you’re between paychecks.

#turnt up #hoe #woman #party #show out

If this rings true for you at all, then congratulations: Youre a human woman. Tuesday morning is the Amanda Bynes to Saturday nights Beyonc. These are just facts. Strictly under this definition, am I a popcorn hoe? Technically yes. That being said, do not call me a popcorn hoe under penalty of me never speaking to you again for a few different reasons.

First, betches dont get dressed up in order to be given backhanded compliments about how much of a shocking improvement weve made from earlier in the week. Maybe we dont show up to work every day looking like were about to walk into 1Oak, but that doesnt mean we look average,” which we all know is just a code word for “bad.” Pretty sure it would be massively inappropriate if I showed up to work in a crop top and full-on smokey eye anyway. Secondly, can we talk about the word choice of this metaphor? Popcorn itself doesn’t go from average-looking to sexy when you apply heat, so who even came up with this? If only there were an animal that existed in naturean insect, perhapsthat was universally known for transforming from an ugly worm-like creature into an objectively more aesthetically pleasing one, maybe with colorful wings or something? Hmm…

More importantly, anyone whos cool with being called a popcorn hoe is basically agreeing that they look like ass if they dont put a shit ton of effort in. Its like, Please. Have some self-respect. Do you see any male ever apologizing for showing up in a wrinkled, coffe-stained button-down to work during the week when he wears a freshly pressed suit to black-tie events on weekends? No. Exactly. People dress differently for different occasions. It is a fact of life. We do not need a (sexist) colloquialism for this. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!

You want to know whos legitimately a popcorn hoe, though? Anne Hathaways character in . That was a 180-degree transformation that took a team of stylists and many hours to complete. Popcorn. Hoe. Its absolutely not the same thing as deciding to get a weekend blowout if you wore a messy bun sometime within the last year, which is why well take genuine compliments on our hair/outfit/overall appearance or just ask that you STFU.

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