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Minute 1: Get your ass off the couch and have a heart attack while turning on whatever heating device you use to do your hair. Also, text the group chat to let them know in advance that youre getting dumped tonight.
Minute 2: Finish your glass of wine, and in the rest of the 58 seconds, remain calm while realizing you dont have time to shower. Quickly clean your room by shoving dirty laundry under your bed and excessively Febreezing the area.
Minutes 3-4: Scream at whoever is in the bathroom to GTFO or you will end their life. At this point you have to decide whether to poorly shave your legs or wash your face. Choose wisely because you cant do both.
Minute 5: Stare into the abyss that is your closet and wonder how its possible that your wardrobe is legit more depressing than a Salvation Army. Find an outfit, put it on and instantly hate it.
Minutes 6-7: Fix your hair using dry shampoo, a curler/straightener and some prayers. Check your phone and respond to his almost there text with a couple thumbs up emojis because this is a very casual situation and nobodys panicking.
Minute 8: Put on some makeup, but only the basics. Dont even think about contouring and DONT fuck up your eyeliner or else youre gonna have to live with it for the rest of the night. This is a true test of how well you can perform under pressure.
Minute 9: Change into a different shirt that you hate. Then do at least two out of the following three things: brush your teeth, put on deodorant and spray perfume.
Minute 10: Relax betch, because
your personality matters most of all you did it! You managed to get ready in under 10 minutes. Even though you couldve looked hotter with more time, you can continue pretending you enjoy wearing anything other than leggings and that Marc Jacobs is your natural musk. If that doesnt keep the spark alive, we dont know what will.
*Note: if you receive a cancellation text at any point after minute two, make sure to immediately ghost this person because you dont need this kind of drama in your life.