And you can too! Just make sure to watch out for things I like to call “friend-portunities.” They will often sound something like this:
“What are you up to?”
“I’m kinda bored, thinking about going to do something else.”
“Hey, what’s your blood type?”
“Do you mind if I take a sample of your blood?”
“Your skin is soft, your lineage pure. You shall be the perfect host for the coming of the Dark God.”
“I’m actually gonna need a bit more of your blood.”
“Do you you speak any Latin?”
“There will be no regrets when the worms come. And they shall surely come.”
“You’re not Irish, are you? Because we’d really like it if you had a link to the Druidic folk.”
“You seem to have icing over a secret pain. Have you by any chance spilled the lifeblood of one who trusted you?”
“Are you afraid to die? You needn’t be. The Dark God welcomes us all into his torment and embrace.”
“Wanna go play video games later, with me, as a friend?”
“I’m really just not getting enough blood. Here, take this pill. Yeah. That’ll loosen up the blood. That’ll loosen up the blood good.”
So when one of your friends tells you something like that, don’t shy away — say “yes”! “Yes” is the key. “Yes” is the first word for the rest of your life. Say “yes” to “yes”!
Be Open to Trying New Things
Most people are afraid of new experiences, but just remember: A new experience is just a fond memory you haven’t had yet! So when you’re invited to The Ritual, to be performed at the stroke of midnight, on the clearest, blackest, moonless night, in a village churchyard with bones weeping in a grave, say yes! Offer to bring beer, and when they tell you not to bother, don’t ask any questions! In fact, never ask any questions at all. Just do whatever they say. It’ll be far easier that way for everyone.
It really is easy. If they offer you a friend robe, put it on! It’ll show them that you’re committed to their cause of friendship. When they start chanting and sprinkling your feet with vials of your own blood, just close your eyes and bask in the acceptance. Allow the smoke to sting your eyes, your lungs. It’s a dull, comforting ache. Relish it. Embrace it. This is a cleansing pain.