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I am kneeling at the top of a hill. Three other women, faceless, are kneeling beside me: two on my right side and one on my left. Our hair is pulled up into buns that sit loosely on the top of our heads. Suddenly a man appears. Hes holding a sword. He comes up to us and one by one, chops off our buns. He then takes his sword and stabs me in my chest. He pulls it out slowly. I kneel there at his feet, gasping for air, feeling shamed and paralyzed among my fellow women.
I know, I woke up and thought the same thing:But these are the kinds of dreams Ive been having lately. My anxiety is at an all-time high. My therapist asked me the other day if Ive been experiencing any stress outside of the usual cocktail of anxiety and existential worry. Im quick to dismiss the question at first, but then back pedal. I think for a moment and say, Actually yeah, the election.
Experiences shape us, for better or worse and my experiences as a woman; my experiences with sexual harassment; of having my body objectified and stripped down until all thats left is something sub-human; an object to be stomped on and disregarded; of being dismissed and underestimatedall of those experiences have culminated into a ball of anger and anxiety that sits in the pit of my stomach. As Ive gotten older, Ive discovered ways to deal with this anxiety and anger, but over the past few months, its re-emerged and intensified.
When I think of Trump, I am reminded of all of these things and more.
These memories saturate my stream of consciousness and that ball of anger and anxiety swells in the pit of my stomach.
This election has been triggering for lack of a better wordI feel like I am constantly on edge. The fact that he is one of two people up for election for President of the United States is terrifying. It keeps me up at night and literally haunts my dreams. A year ago, I could joke about this. I thought it was hysterical that a lunatic such as himself thought he could be taken seriously as a presidential candidate. Yet here we are and I am no longer laughing. Donald Trump is dangerous. He is an extension of the worst kind of masculinity: virile and toxic thinking circulating around a damaged and deranged ego. He is a collective monster: a coagulation of the most vile parts of humanity and he must be stopped.
Go out and vote.
Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/meg-pickarski/2016/11/this-is-the-triggering-nature-of-the-2016-election/
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