Raise a glass to the celebrity couples we lost this year, from Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to Justin Bieber and his blur of blonde girlfriends.”>

Is there anything 2016 hasnt ruined? From Tic Tacs to Kanye West to the Great American Experiment, its been a year of death and dream deferrals. But on top of this years many casualtiesRIP Prince and David Bowieits time to add love to the list. For centuries, romantic love has been idealized as the pinnacle of human experience. Then came 2016 like the huge cockblock that it was, leaving a trail of celebrity breakups in its destructive wake. From Angelina and Bradto Justin Bieber and that one chick(and Justin Bieber and that other chick), we learned that love is a bigger liar than Donald Trump.

Its been a bad year for pussies, both civilian and celebrityMariah Carey lost her man to Scientology, and Cara Delevingne lost her girlfriend to Kristen Stewart. Hillary Clinton and Drake showed us that you can want something with all of your heart and still fall short, whether its becoming the president of the United States or getting Rihanna to admit that shes your girlfriend. And last, but certainly not least, Taylor Swift taught us that love is a game you play for attention in between album releases.

Basically, the only productive relationship this year has been between Twitter eggs and online meme generators. Real human connection might be rare and fleeting, but a good Harambe meme is forever (especially if you pin it). In tribute to the futile and outdated pursuit of IRL relationships, weve compiled a list of all the celebrity couples that were. Let 2016s romantic body count serve as your weekly wake-up call that monogamy is a myth and Leonardo DiCaprios Pussy Posse is back. 

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (2004-2016)

Even as Brad Pitts facial hair laid waste to his beautiful face, we were still rooting for this glamorous couple. Their divorce announcement, and the ensuing squabbling and accusations, proved that even the most superficially enviable relationships contain an ugly, rotten core. On the bright side, Jennifer Aniston is glowing.

Chlo Grace Moretz and Brooklyn Beckham (2016-2016)

There are myriad ways to summarize and synthesize 2016. It was the year a neon orange hairball commandeered the free world, and the one when we almost had a female president. Also, Kim Kardashian West broke the internet (again), Michelle Obama broke all of our hearts, and Orlando Bloom took his dick out. But for me, 2016 will always be the year that I was forced to write multiple stories about Chlo Grace Moretz. Of all of the pseudo-A-listers at the periphery of the zeitgeist, Moretz is one of the most tenacious. From her extremely difficult-to-type name to her insistence on involving herself in any and all Kardashian beef, Moretz has managed to differentiate herself from her fellow millennial starlets. 

First, she squabbled with the Kardashians, in a series of escalating feuds culminating in the battle of the K/Chlo/s. That showdown ended with the asshole heard round the web, with Khlo Kardashian tweeting a picture of a butt that may or may not have been Moretzs. The actress also grabbed headlines courtesy of her DNC appearance, as well as an ill-fated relationship with Brooklyn Beckham. The Posh Spice progeny and Neighbors 2 star made it official in May, but eventually split after just a few months (potentially over Beckhams Kardashian allegiances). The breakup could not have come at a more awkward time, just days after the release of a Teen Vogue cover story in which Moretz posed with Brooklyn and gushed about their relationship. If two ultra-rich teen celebrities with literally no obstacles standing in their way cant make it work, then why should the rest of us even bother?

Cara Delevingne and St. Vincent (2015-2016)

Back in August, Delevingne gave one of the cutest interviews ever, insisting that St. Vincent had taught her that the meaning of life is love. Im completely in love, she continued. Before, I didnt know what love wasreal love. I didnt understand the depth of it. Unfortunately, Delevingne and St. Vincent werent ultimately down to U-Haul. Instead, they threw us all for a loop when St. Vincent started dating Ms. Steal Your Girl Kristen Stewart. While Stewart and Clark do seem to have the same fashion sensibilityand can probably share concealerwere still processing this sudden swap.  

Hiddleswift (2016-2016), Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift (2015-2016)

Drake and Rihanna (2016-2016)

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Tobey Maguire and Jen Meyer (2003-2016)

As Drake would say, we took Tobey Maguire and Jen Meyers love for granted. Not because they were a cute couple (which they were) or because they have a beautiful family (which they do), but because Meyer and Maguires union was the only thing standing in the way of the return of the Pussy Posse. The 90s-era Posse, helmed by Maguire and BFF Leonardo DiCaprio, was infamous for terrorizing parties with their homoerotic bonding rites, including but not limited to ritualistic howling. Now that Maguire and Meyer have ended their nine-year marriage, the actor has been spotted haunting local nightlife hotspots with his Oscar Award-winning pal. Nothing says recently divorced middle-aged man seeks twentysomething model quite like hitting up Lavo with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Justin Bieber and like five chicks (20??-2016)

Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber (2005-2016)

This was supposed to be Mariah Careys year. The elusive chanteuse had it all: a new reality TV show, a fiancee, and the range. She also appeared to accomplish all this from a horizontal position on a chaise lounge, cementing Careys status as Americas preeminent diva. Unfortunately, it seems that being a massive diva may not actually be conducive to keeping your man. Carey and her millionaire beaus engagement ended just like your last relationship didfollowing an explosive fight during a Greek yachting holiday. Competing rumors alleged that Carey became wary when it appeared that Packer was relapsing into his previous relationship with Scientology. Because she is a hero disguised as a goddess, Carey is demanding severance for her emotional laborto the tune of the $50 million that she and Packer apparently agreed upon in their unsigned prenup. Carey, who also recently finalized her divorce from Nick Cannon, has reportedly moved on with her backup dancer Bryan Tanaka. So maybe theres hope after all.

Read more: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/12/17/2016-the-year-celebrity-love-died-brangelina-aubrih-and-more-couples-who-split.html

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