By Rebekah Fox
I was painting in the garage, and she was drawing a rainbow on the cement floor with chalk when she said, Im glad God gave you to me as my Mommy.
I wasnt ready for it. What? I asked, making sure I heard her right. She tried to say it again, but her words came out a little more awkward this time, and she said something like, Im happy youre my mommy from God.
Tears filled my eyes.
Then she prayed, God, thank you for giving my mommy to me. And thank you (I couldnt understand this part.) And thank you, she makes me breakfast. And thank you were going to make pumpkin spagotti (biscotti). I hope it tastes good. Do you think it will taste good, God?
Then she opened her eyes, and went back to drawing her chalk muralwhile my eyes blurred with tears, and a huge lump came to my throat. Where did that come from?
Shes threeand I didnt know her little heart could hold such gratitude. Or that it would just burst out of her, during this subtle moment in the garage. Or that she would thank God, outloud, for me, right then.
Usually, she doesnt even want to pray out loudeven with me encouraging her. But today she felt something inside her.
Her little heart can hold more love than I often know.
Her little mindis not so little as I think it is. She thinks far beyond what I would expect.
Thank you, Selah, I said, smiling. Im so glad God gave me you as my daughter.
I would have hugged her right then, if my hands didnt have white paint on them, and if there wasnt so much junk between us on the floor. The drawers I was painting, and an old wooden chair.
Did you have to wait a long time for me Mom? she asked. (I have told her the story many times, but she wanted to hear it again.)
I stepped across the junk on the floor and came a little closer to her. Yes, I said. I asked God for a baby over and over again. But He didnt give me one for a long time.
And when me and Daddy found out you were in my tummy, we were so happy! I told her.
Do you know why God took so long to give you a baby? she said.
No, honey, I said. I dont know.
I know why, she said.
Why? I asked.
BecauseHe was making me, she said.
He was making me.
I looked into her deep blue eyes, that seemed to know something from another world, and her blonde tossled hair russled in the breeze. And in that moment, she seemed a thousand years old.
He was making me.
And that answer was enough. And my heart resounded with the truth of it, Of course He was. Of course, thats exactly what He was doing, Dear One.
Because now that I know her, and know how special she isit only makes sense, that it took so long. I dont know what God was doing with her up there. There is just something about her, that seems as if she spent a long time on Gods chest before coming to mine. Almost as if heaven didnt want to give her up.
And I say this with tears, to you, barren ones
Who are waiting for your baby prayers to be answered.
Who are praying every day for God to give you a baby. To give you life.
I dont know why its taking so long.
I dont know if He will give you a child through your womb, or through foster care, or adoption.
But either wayif you are waiting right now, and you dont know why its taking so long.
Maybe its because God, the Maker and Giver of Life and every living thingis still in the process of making your baby.
We cant even begin to comprehend what is happening in the heavenlies, in the unseen, and what, or who He is forming.
His ways are not like ours. His timing is not like ours.
And perhaps if Hes moving so slowly, and Hes taking so long Its because Hes forming something so breathtaking and beautifulit cannot be rushed.
He is in the process of forming a masterpiece.
And maybe one day, a little masterpiece will stand before you and say, I know why God took so long to give you a baby.
And you will say, Why?
And they will say,
He was making me.
**The post appeared originally on BarrenToBeautiful.com.
About the Author:Rebekah Fox struggled with infertility for several years before giving birth to her daughter, Selah, in 2013. She writes to give hope to women in the midst of infertility, motherhood, and marriage on her blog www.barrentobeautiful.com. Rebekah and her husband, Brandon, live in Pennsylvania and in their downtime like to sing, songwrite, and brew the darkest coffee possible. They are expecting their second miracle this December. Connect with her on her website,Facebook, oremail.