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When my induction date was set for 09/09/09, I knew that that day would be a lucky one. I was 20 years old and had absolutely no clue what I was doing, how the day would go or what to possibly expect. I didnt even know how much this day would change me as a person until I finally saw your face. You were 6 lbs. 12 oz. and had dark hair and dark eyes just like your birth father. You were the most beautiful boy I had ever seen in all of my days. I was filled with an overwhelming feeling to protect you and do anything in my power to see you grow into a happy, successful human being. Little did I know that you would teach me much more than just how to be a mother.
I was notorious for dealing with things that I didnt deserve. I didnt seem to care as long as it was me that was hurting but when things affected you, I knew it was time to leave. You were my reason for pushing forward and understanding that I (we) deserve better, and I was going to find it for us.
I thought that I was young, wild and free. I thought that I was doing whatever I wanted because I could. Really, I was masking all of my hurt with drugs and alcohol because I honestly felt like I wasnt someone that was worth being on this earth. When that plus sign showed up on the first test, all of a sudden, I had someone that needed me to live. You needed me to take care of myself so that I could take care of you. You showed me that I am important in this world because I am important to you. Ive always called you my lifesaver, and one day, I hope you realize that I truly mean it.
Its so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Most days, our days are so jammed packed that were just trying to make it to bed time and already stressing out about tomorrow. Your innocence has helped me see things that Ive been too busy to notice. You see the beauty in everything and remind me to take a step back and look at the big picture instead.
People always told me that I wouldnt appreciate my mom until I became a mother myself, and that was true. I thought my mom was strict as a child until I started using the same methods to teach you, as well. Now, I have so many people coming up to me telling me that you are so well-behaved and well-mannered. I couldnt be more proud of you or more thankful to have had a mom that knew what she was doing when she raised me, too.
I was one of those people that thought that I needed name brand things to feel important. Obviously, when you came along, those things werent as easily accessible because like they say, babies cost a lot of money. I had never seen anyone be as excited over a $1 pack of bubbles or a 50 cent pack of chalk. We have had fun for hours with the smallest amount of money. I know now it isnt the cost of things that matter but its really all about who youre spending your time with, and that in itself is invaluable.
I spent too much time complaining about things when they didnt go my way until I realized that you were listening to everything I had to say. I learned how to turn every situation into a lesson for you so that you would grow up knowing how to handle certain situations and how to make the best out of everything, even if it sucks at first. Everything that I used to do with no second thought, I now wanted to slow down and show you how to do it all. I pray that I do a good job at preparing you for life. I pray that I am someone that you can look to for advice and comfort.
It is so clich to say but I honestly did not know love until I had you. I didnt know that my heart was capable of such a thing. After being hurt for so long, its hard to believe that a love so pure could exist from anyone. You look to me for everything, and I hope that I am always what you need. You bring more joy into my life than I ever thought possible. I hope I bring just as much joy into yours.
Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/kelli-rose/2016/10/7-things-my-son-taught-me-in-7-years/
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